It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
