You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
