We need to rekindle our bromance
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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