Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
