I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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