she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize