So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
