you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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