i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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