is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
