Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
