she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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