He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
