Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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