I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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