It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
