If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize