Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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