mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
