I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
