i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
