I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
