69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
