I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
