His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
How's work?
Spinning.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
