so explain again why im purple
no
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We were destined to go to rehab together
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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