New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
