She said her name was "party"
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
