he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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