I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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