This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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