I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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