She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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