if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize