you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
