direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
