Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
