you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
