Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
