Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
