He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
