im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
