Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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