I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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