Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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