I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
