Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
