I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
