Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
