I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
