Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
