that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
