You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
