What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
