pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i've created a new STD.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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